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Is Chivalry Dying Among African American Men, or Is Feminist Black Women Killing It?

Today, it's virtually impossible to count the number of Black women whom I've heard say; "I get more respect from other men than I do Black men." In fact, this same group of Black women claim that Black men today treat other women with more respect than they do their own Black women. As a result, the attitudes of multitudes of Black women have really changed concerning Black men over the past 40 plus years. 

There was a moment and time when Black women would "NEVER" praise other men over Black men for their treatment of them. However, that was then….this is now! 

Though this chivalry issue (or the lack thereof) seems to be one-sided or one of the biggest complaints from Black women regarding Black men today, I truly believe chivalry as it pertains to the African American community is diminishing as a direct result of how....

 "both" Black men and Black women were/are mentally conditioned to degrade, devaluedisrespect and to completely vilify one another. 

Black women today are complaining about how Black men are no longer chivalrous while at the same time Black men are complaining about how today's independent, feminist Black women have been rejecting chivalry from Black men, with their "I don't need a man" attitudes.

"No Thank You, I Can Pay For My Own Dinner!"
To the men's defense: I believe feminism is partly the blame for today's chivalry issues regarding Black men and women simply because in it's rawest form feminism convinces most women today that acts of chivalry from men are in many ways very insulting to their self-worth as well as their quest for independence

Chivalry in the minds of today's feminist also depicts women as being the weaker vessel which seems to lower their quality as well as their strong desire to be equal or better than most men.

As a result of this feminist mentality regarding multitudes of Black women today, many of our Sistahs are mentally and psychologically conditioned to reject traditional roles and behaviors, including the roles and behaviors required for "garnering" chivalrous behaviors from Black men. And since Black men do NOT hold doors open, pull out chairs or pay for one another's meals.....why should they do so for any other equal, even though the equal in this case happens to be a woman

Case and point: The image of the chivalrous Black man protecting the weaker Black "damsel in distress" do not fit very well with the evolving image of today's feminist Black women as being equal, strong or very independent.

"I Got These Ho's On A Leash Cuz!
To the women's defense: When it comes to today's "non-feminist" Black women putting other men on a pedestal over their own Black sons, nephewsbrothers, cousins, uncles, fathers and grandfathers....part of me believes that many Black men today brought it on themselves and Black men as a whole. 

By that I mean our chivalry issues as a race are also the blame of the group of classless, misogynist, fatherless males we are producing in record numbers today who are heavily influenced by the hip-hop culture along with the thug sub-culture to devalue, disrespect, dog and mistreat ALL women, namely their own Black women. Without shame, remorse or guilt, this immature, classless group of Beta males view all women as "boy toys" or "sex instruments" unworthy of true love, honor and respect

Just recently, I was sitting in the waiting room of a busy doctor's office waiting for my daughter to complete her visit. It was a very busy day for the staff, as it seems as though everyone with something wrong with them decided to picked that day in particular to descend down to the doctor's office. In fact, by noon there were no seats in the large spacious waiting area for people to sit. Some people (mostly women) were left standing. I noticed as more women walked into the waiting room, older men (Black and White) stood up to let the ladies have their seats while a few younger Black males didn't even budge. 

One young Black male even had the nerve to say to another older Black man who gave up his seat, "Ain't none of these b#tches my girl! What the heII do I look like giving any of them my seat?" The whole room heard the statement and let me tell you, every Black individual in the room probably felt very embarrassed to share the same skin color with that classless idiot. It's because of males like him and many others like him that the world today (including Black women) view Black men as being less than men.    

With that being said, I recently discovered that in 2009 Disney decided to give their first African American princess (Tiana) a non-Black man as her Prince which sparked a great deal of controversy from the African American community. And in spite of the controversy surrounding Disney and Tiana, millions of Black parents supported Disney by buying their young Black daughters the doll even after the second controversy surfaced with Tiana being displayed on a pack of "watermelon" candy to hopefully market the product to African American children.

Of the multitudes of flavors for candy today, it's just so happens that Tiana was chosen to market "watermelon" flavored candy!"

Watermelon Candy!
It's quite apparent that some racist idiot in Disney's marketing department had a little fun on their way out to their next job. 

How did Disney allow this to happen and more importantly, why did Black parents continue to foolishly support Disney by buying their Black daughters this very controversial doll?

Though Disney don't represent Black people, out of ignorance Disney believe they were only replicating the negatives they see in Black society. Why the negatives? And in a more subliminal kind of way they were also promoting the social separation of Black men and Black women or interracial relationships between prominent Black women and white males in an attempt to get even with the hordes of rich prominent Black men who are dating, marrying and bedding down with white women today by the masses. 

Don't fall for that evil trickery Black woman or you too will be exploited for sex with money or exploited for your own success and money. Moving forward into 2013 the Mainstream Media is expected to try more desperate attempts to advocate interracial relationships between Black women and White men. This will become Social Engineering and Gender Separation at it's very best.

The saddest thing about it all is that society today tries so hard to make us believe that it's not about skin color or race but you hardly ever see naturally beautiful Black women featured in truck or beer commercials, or any commercials marketing "high-end" products for men.

Even in sports dominated by Black men today there's very little (if anyBlack women on the side-lines cheering for them!

So how is it that all of a sudden White males are sooooo "interested" and very "chivalrous" regarding Black women today when for some reason they don't recognize Black women as a standard of beauty or as being "attractive" enough to promote and sell their "high-end" products? 

Wake up Black woman....being some other man's paid or exploited "sex toy" is NOT very synonymous with true love and value! There's more to love and relationship building than "oral sex", money and the opportunity to get even with Black men for bedding down with white women! 

                                      But I digress......

According to the stereotypical Mainstream Media when it comes to loving and valuing Black women, the chivalrous Prince Charming is not usually associated with Black men. And as mentioned above, for whatever reason(s), neither is it associated with White marketing directors or professional sports team owners who refuse to see or value the beauty of natural Black women. 

               Please Note: Not all Black men are like the ones I mentioned above!

And again, though Disney don't represent Black people, this saddens me simply because Disney missed out on a great opportunity to show little African American girls that Black Love "DOES" exist in spite of chivalry not being where it needs to be today within the African American community! 

We can not expect Disney or any other major corporation to display chivalry in the form of a Black prince when multitudes of young Black males are NOT being taught how to display those characteristic today, while at the same time multitudes of young feminist Black women are being mentally conditioned by mainstream society as well as their peers to reject chivalrous behavior, especially from Black men? 

       So How Do We Fix This Mess That Has Been Created? 

1) - It's every Black man's responsibility to teach his sons how to become a perfect gentleman and how to treat a lady. Notice, I said "LADY", because there's a great multitude of females today who don't qualify as being a lady!

Absentee Black Fatherhood is one of the biggest reasons why many Black males today don't know a thing about being a perfect gentleman, especially to their own Black women. Too many of our boys are being raised by, Gangster Rap and the streets, which are very contrary to chivalrous conduct and respect for Black women. 

2) - Single mothers you are also responsible for how your son's treat the next generation of Black women. Respect your sons! Stop walking around "naked" in front of them. Also, your son(s) must not see hordes of men in and out of your bedroom. When boys see their own mom's being played, laid and dumped at the hand of thugs, pimps and other misogynistic males, they become desensitized as to how women are suppose to be treated because of how their own moms allowed themselves to be mistreated

Unknowingly, the above young, inexperienced mothers teach their son(s) first-hand that women are nothing more than sex receptacles and not worthy of any man's genuine love, honor or respect.

                                          IN CLOSING:

Black men it is treason to value, honor and respect other women from another race or ethnic group far above the women who look exactly like your mothers, daughters, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, cousins and nieces

Only a self-hating, self-devaluing mentality would inspire such  betrayal. I'm not against love as much as I'm against Black men and Black women today placing other cultures high above themselves and treating other cultures much better than we treat our own Black people!

Likewise, Black women the same thing applies to you as well. You can't reject kindness from the men who look exactly like you, but receive it very graciously from other men simply because their skin is not Black. That's exactly what Mammies did during the days of slavery. They valued their white male slave masters far above their own fathers, brothers, uncles, cousins, nephews, sons, as well as far above themselves.

The bottom line is this: Every man should be required to value you for who you are and not for how well they can exploit you sexually regardless to the color of their skin. A non-feminist woman who truly values herself will demand chivalrous behavior from any man regardless of his economical status, his race, his level of education, as well as his physical features. The reason why most men today don't act like gentlemen or extend chivalrous behavior is because there's too many women today who reject it or don't require it. Likewise, there's far too many women today who do NOT place themselves in a position to receive chivalrous behavior from men simply because they don't know what a "real man" is outside of sex and money

Ladies, do you stand aside to allow your man to open a door for you? Are you pumping gas while your playboy sits very relaxed in the passenger seat of your car? Do your partner pull out your chair before seating himself? Do he allow you to order from the menu first, or kindly ask the waiter or waitress to give the two of you a few more minutes before ordering because you haven't decided what to order even though he's ready to order? Do your Beau insist that you walk on the inside portion of a sidewalk? If so, he's a keeper! If not....GOOD LUCK!!!

I can go on and on sharing proper etiquettes as they relate to chivalrous behavior from men, however, women namely Black women who do not embrace the same destructive mentality as most feminist Black women embrace today must demand as well as place themselves in a position to receive honorable favor and respect from ALL men. White and non-Black men should be held to the same standards and level of accountability as Black men, and NOT given preferential  treatment, or a pass simply because their skin is not Black. That's self-hate and inferiority at it's best or for a better term, it's a very destructive mentality foolishly embraced by modern day slaves!  

~Sigh~......maybe I'm wasting my time on this subject matter. This is just another one of those things that starts in the home.

If there are NO productive Black fathers available today to teach their young Black sons how to treat Black women, or if Black women today are being mentally conditioned to rejecting chivalrous behavior from Black men in a futile attempt to be equal, or if they are setting very poor examples for their son(s) by allowing themselves to be dogged-out by low-downno good men, or if Black men and women today continue to foolishly place other cultures far above themselves, how can we expect any type of cultural change for the better, especially as it pertains to Black Love and Chivalrous Behavior


                       ALL THOUGHTS ARE WELCOME!!!


  1. I have a question. I know what acts of chivalry from a man are but but does chivalry go both ways? And if so, what are some acts of chivalry from a woman?

  2. To answer your question: NO! Chivalry does NOT work both ways. I wouldn't want a woman pulling a chair out for me to be seated or I will not require a woman to open a door for me. The best compliment any woman can give to a man she truly love and respect, is to simply "ACT LIKE A LADY!" It's just that simple! I can not stress this enough. Women are only required to put themselves in a position to receive "CHIVALROUS" deeds from men. And that's by acting like a lady!!!!!

  3. i really really appreciate this blog; i am a french black woman so excuse my english ; my oldest sister is married to a black man and he treats her like a queen; i have two other elder sisters (i am the youngest daughter of my parents)who are interracially married and they face problems every single day; i feel that my white brothers in law treat my sisters with a little contempt; they never defend them in front of their families who have "itching" comments about hair, skin tone, all that stuff; i want to follow my oldest sister's example. you are right sir and i wish to thank you for your love and your support for black women

  4. Black Women needs to stop believing that money is everything and also, by being brain-washed by the Media. We as a Community have suffered from this form of self-hate for too long. Black Women love selling out their Race of men while the majority suffers from Unemployment and many different social issues affecting our people today. We must stop putting other Races of people on the pedal-stood without having love for who we are as a people.

    Black Women needs to stop listening to White Women's views on their relationships. These bitter White Women who are unsuccessful with their relationships with men want to divide and conquer another Race of Women such as Black Women to perpetuated this feminism attitude that is keeping Black Men and Black Women divided. The Black Community is hurt by the destruction of the Family Unit which is the support system for our youth. We must stand up as Men, fight our oppressors and protect our Women's interest by loving them and nurturing their souls. That's the only way these Black Women will stop selling out our Race in favor of other Race of people. These alien Races are not looking out for the best interest of Black People and Black Women in general.


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