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Why Are So Many Quality Black Women Single Today?



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"I Don't Need A Man, But I Desire To Have 
One....So Why Am I Single?"
Today there's a very significant number of professional Black women who have positioned themselves for success with BA's, MD's, as well as PHD's.....but unfortunately, 70% of them are still without the more elusive title: 


                "MRS."


Besides losing hordes of Black men to women from other races, besides losing Black men as a result of the 1.1 million Black men who are currently incarcerated, and besides losing Black men to the down-low (homosexual) lifestyle as well as the ever increasing homicide rate among Black men today, there are other major factors that are keeping more and more Black women single now than ever before.....




                                                         
                               Have you met this woman?


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"Why Am I Single?"


She has a great job, works very hard and she earns six figures annually. She has NO children, she's baggage-free, and she's in total control of her own life. She went to college, studied very hard to obtain her degree(s). She's very attractive, very intelligent, very personable, articulate, well versed and seems very interested in everybody and everything........But yet she's SINGLE!


                                    Or maybe you know this woman!




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"Lord....Why Am I Single?"



She's very active in the church. She's very faithful and totally committed. She sings in the choir, serves on the usher board, and attends every church function and every committee meeting. She Loves the Lord and knows Scripture. You'd think that with her keen knowledge of the Scriptures and the respect of her church members she'd have a marriage made in Heaven......But once again, NO HUSBAND!


                            Or how about the community activist?


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"Of All People, Why Am I Single?"




She's a Black lady, or as she would prefer you to call her, a Strong, Independent, African American woman on the move. She may be sportin a short natural; or sometimes cornrow braids or perhaps even locked hair. She's a wonderful community organizer, a great motivator and a cultural dynamo.


Her work for Black people speaks volumes for itself--organizing women for self-help, raising funds for a community cause and educating many others regarding new political, economical and social needs in the surrounding neighborhoods. Many Black folks look up to her while white folks know she's a force to be reckoned with.....But again, this quality African American woman is NOT MARRIED!



      "What do ALL of these women have in common?" 


These Sistahs seem to have so much going on for themselves; so what could they be lacking? Why is it they may be able to hook a man but neither of them can seem to hold a man? A great multitude of successful, single and seeking African American women today (70%) ponder over this question on a daily basis. They gather at beauty salons, fitness centers, singles retreats, women's blogs and together over a cup of coffee at the office wondering...... 

                        "What's wrong with Black men?"


They hold special prayer vigils and fast and pray and beg Jesus to send the Black men back to church. They may occasionally experience some quality Brothas attending Church functions, political rallies, or participating in protests and or other community functions, but when it's time to go home, those quality Brothas all go home to someone else.


After asking over and over again "What's wrong with Black men?" It never ever dawned on many of the above Black women to ask themselves....

                                    "What's wrong with us Black women?"

What I have found out and what many of today's Black women have yet to discover, is that....


"THE SKILLS AND QUALIFICATIONS THAT MAKE A WOMAN VERY SUCCESSFUL IN THE WORKPLACE, IN THE CHURCH AND IN THE COMMUNITY ARE NOT THE SAME SKILLS REQUIRED TO MAKE A WOMAN VERY SUCCESSFUL IN A RELATIONSHIP OR MARRIAGE!"  

"LADIES, PLEASE UNDERSTAND....HIGHER EDUCATION OR A GREAT PAYING JOB "DOES NOT" ENTITLE YOU TO A GOOD MAN, NOR DOES IT ENTITLE YOU TO A "PERFECT" RELATIONSHIP!"



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Linear thinking, self-reliance, structured goals and direct actions on getting the job done, whether in organizing the church, promoting social club activities, or placing oneself in a position for a raise or a promotion...."ARE JUST THAT!!

However, relationship-building requires a whole different set of skills and requirements altogether. It requires making decisions that are NOT only gratify to you, but also making decisions that are very satisfactory to your partner as well. Black women it means that sometimes you may be required to do the things that will keep the peace rather than achieve the goal. 
And sometimes it may even require you to take the high-road and create the peace in the first place.

Maintaining a harmonious relationship will NOT always allow you to take the straight and narrow road between two points. Sistahs, sometimes you may have to stoop in order to conquer, or sometimes you may be required to yield in order to win


The saddest thing regarding many Black women today is that many of them have been mentally conditioned by feminism and mainstream society to embrace a very destructive, anti-man attitude.

By that I mean feminism has taught most of them that in order to be "PRO-WOMAN" they have to become "ANTI-MAN". Feminism has also mentally conditioned multitudes of Black women today that a woman (namely a self-sufficient, professional Black woman) is weakoppressed and very passive to a man especially if she makes a conscious decision to take good care of him in the more  traditional ways that most women were taught to by their (traditional) mothers, grandmothers and or aunts in the past. 

In other words, professional or career-oriented women today who strongly desire to learn how to cook for their husbands and who strongly desire to take very good care of his home as well as his children in more traditional ways are frowned upon, and in many cases scorned by today's contemporary feminist Black women.


Traditional Black women today (professional or nonprofessional) are classified as being weak, passive, old-fashion and very outdated by modern-day feminist Black women. They are NOT classified as strong, nor are they considered independent

Today's feminists foolishly believe something is definitely wrong with wanting to be a "traditional" family-oriented Black woman.

Black woman, in too many cases when dealing with Black men you will have to sometimes sacrifice being right in order to enjoy being loved. 


For Example: Being acknowledged as the head of the household is an especially important thing for many Black men today since their manhood is actively challenged everywhere else. It does not matter to him that you earn $10 more a week than him. Not at all!!!


Unfortunately, many modern day, "single and seeking" Black women have been mentally conditioned to automatically claim head-of the-household simply because they earn a few dollars more a week than their male companion. As a result, many of these same Black women incite catastrophic power struggles with their men on a daily basis. And because many Black women today embrace that destructive (feminist) mentality, many of them fail to sustain healthy relationships. As a result, most of them go on to become so independent, so self-sufficient, so committed to the cause, to their church, to their careers and even to their own narrow individual concepts that their entire personalities project an:


                        "I DON'T NEED A MAN" ATTITUDE!"


                              So they end up without one!!!!



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"Why Am I Single?"


Sistahs, most interested Black men today would be a complete fool NOT to be attracted to your feminine qualities as well as your career goals and aspirations, but he will soon discover that you make very little space for him in your very hectic, self-centered, fast-pace lifestyle. Going to graduate school is a great endeavor and an alternative that previous generations of Black women did NOT have the opportunities to fulfill, but unfortunately, today, most achieving, career-oriented (Black) woman will mistakenly place her man so low on her list of priorities that his interest in her begins to decline very rapidly! 




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Between work, school and homework, she's seldom "there" for him to fulfill the very important preliminaries that may solidify his lifetime commitment to her. She's too busy to cuddle, or perhaps to watch a movie, or to prepare him a decent home-cooked meal, or to express her genuine love and appreciation for him, or to be a listening ear for his concerns simply because she's so "preoccupied" with her own. 

Ladies, knowing how to "BALANCE" your time wisely is the key to keeping any good man's interest while at the same time accomplishing your career goals. Professional Black and non-Black women who are very happily married to Black men today can attest to this irrefutable truth.

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"All I Am To Him Is A 
Sex Receptacle!" 

This is why it seem like most Black men today are only around for uncommitted sex. It seems that way because to him she appears unavailable for everything else other than sex. Blind to the above roles most Black women play in their relationship problems today, it's much easier for them to think that all "Black Men are only out to get one thing", then foolishly proceed to fail an entire race of men by declaring that "ALL BLACK MEN ARE NOTHING BUT DOGS!" 


And rather than evaluate her role as to why she's single most Black women today decide they're much better off with the degree(s) rather than the relationship. Then when she's 35 or older and a single mother with 3 or more children in tow, she begins to wish she'd set a whole different set of priorities while she was much younger. It's not just the busy middle-age career-oriented, feminist Black woman who can't see the forest through the trees, but the younger generations of Black women are now being mentally conditioned to embrace and suffer the same fate as their older female counterpart, then go on to repeat the same vicious cycle with their young Black daughters as well.




Sistahs, it's all too easy to save the world and repel quality Black men!


A fighting spirit is very important on the battlefield, but a much gentler spirit is needed on the home front. Far too many Black women today are winning the battle on the job, in the church, and in the community, but losing the battle to maintain their homes, their children, and more importantly, their relationships. 


Sometimes in their determined efforts to be strong achievers and independent thinkers, today's contemporary Black women downplay, vilify, denigratebad mouth or simply forget about having those more traditional "feminine" qualities and "moral" attributes which are most attractive to any quality Black man.


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"Afrocentric Beauty!"
Traditional Black men value Black women best for their unique differences NOT for their material similarities. Black men want to appreciate Black women for their beauty, style and grace, NOT for their masculine, vain, or independent ("I DON'T NEED A MAN") attitudes. Traditional Black men also enjoy the softness of his woman, NOT the attitudes of those very hostile, mannish Black females who chooses to be very combative, very competitive, very arrogant and over-reactive

Trust me ladies, it has nothing to do with that all too popular, foolish quote most modern-day feminist Black women embrace today ("Black men can't handle a strong Black woman!").....especially when those same Black women are constantly rejected by quality Black men. 


             "That's a bunch of bull!" 

The above quote is nothing more than a psychological "gender pride" boost for most modern-day Black feminist as well as a "self-pity" pat on the back for those same Black women who repeatedly fail miserably to maintain a happy, healthy relationship with quality Black men. 





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"Nigga Please!"
Good Black men with common sense meet these types of females and walk away from them as quickly as possible. There’s NO need to waste any valuable time pursuing a very combative, or a very reactive Black woman. 

Again, it's NOT because Black men "CAN'T HANDLE A (so-called) STRONG BLACK WOMAN." It's because most quality Black men with common sense "CHOOSE NOT TO DEAL WITH" the unnecessary, non-productive drama that comes with most of today's feminist Black women. 

By that I mean being with certain types of Black women today is much like being with a dude, which is so frustrating and so very unattractive. NO sane Black man will waste his valuable time pursuing a masculine female he’s sure of getting into catastrophic power struggles with, or constant verbal confrontations with. That's a recipe for disaster!!!

Unfortunately, many Black women today think that being strong requires them to act very masculine, and that they must become very combative and very competitive with their Black men. 


Sadly, this is why many of them foolishly believe they can play the role of both - father and mother to their dependent children. This is mainly because many of them have been mentally conditioned by society and the masses to "act" and "think" like men.


They can be found all over the Internet (social media) proudly celebrating and bragging about raising illegitimate, bastard children alone, while publicly giving shout-outs to one another for being nothing more than "single" mothers. This foolish mental behavior is especially escalated and celebrated on Father's Day

It's a very sad situation when an entire race of FEMALES seek to "compete" with their own men for a national holiday which was designated and reserved exclusively for MALESRebellious White women instigated it, and wannabe Black women foolishly tagged along (as usual), embraced it and escalated it to a whole different level today. 



Unfortunately, it seems as though Black women have been mentally and psychologically turned-out by Western society. And again, many of them have been made to "think" and "act" like men, which is why they are the only race of women today who have NO issues with raising illegitimate children alone. Could this be the reason why many Black children (especially Black males) are socially disenfranchised or the least successful in mainstream society today? These same Black females go on to foolishly cry and rant about the lack of quality Black men in our society on a daily basis! I guess it' because collectively they are NOT raising any! 

On that note: Black woman you can't continue to spoil and emasculate your Black son's then cry about the lack of quality Black men in our society today.

It is virtually impossible for this very large demographic of modern day Black females to raise Black boys to become quality Black men simply because many of them don't even know what a quality man is.....If they did, then a very staggering 63% of them wouldn't be raising children alone today.

Only thugs and weak, emasculated, momma’s boys tolerate engaging in foolish, non-productive skirmishes with very masculine females who seek to be; "large and in charge!" This is why the above types of females seem to only attract weak, classless, non-productive Beta males. Beta males who are seeking nothing more than to be lead and completely taken care of by a woman. 



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"Pu$$y..Didn't I Tell You I Don't 
Want My Fuckin Son Around 
Your Crazy Ass Bit*h?"
Real Alpha-class, self-sufficient Black men today recognize what these modern day feminist stand for and avoid them before they become the next (male) victim of their nasty attitudesviscous tongues, and other negative drama, or all of the other harmful baggage that comes with most of them. Guys, that's the best and most effective way to "HANDLE" the so-called "STRONG, INDEPENDENT" Black woman. Do NOT have anything to do with them! Let them continue to remain strong, independent and very combative all by themselves! 


I know I advocate gender unity between Black men and Black women in other topics throughout this blog, but as much as I'm for gender unity, I'm more against Domestic Violence with regards to Black men and Black women engaging into physical altercations as a direct result of power struggles, verbal disrespect or more importantly, as a direct result of decisions made regarding money, their home and their young children. So in this case and for the sake of peace, it's much better for both individuals to part their separate ways until they both learn what's required of them to successfully coexist with the opposite sex. 



Unfortunately, because of how the minds of our Black Sistahs have been shaped and molded by society and the masses over the past 40 plus years, it's not going to be an easy transition for the modern day feminist Black woman to develop traditional values, or to regain those all important feminine qualities to go along-side and "BALANCE -OUT" their various "individual" skills, abilities,and accomplishments. 

First and foremost, The 1970's Feminist Movement partnered with The Welfare State which were both inspired by The Willie Lynch Conspiracies were cleverly devised to eradicate and completely destroy The 1960's Black Power Movement as well as to destroy the two-parent African American Family unit, by separating the Black man from his women and children - AKA "The "Planned" Destruction of The Black Family Unit". He could NOT be apart of a struggling African American household. These two destructive forms of "Social Engineering" or "Divide Then Conquer" tactics within the African American community have mentally conditioned Black men and Black women today by the masses to become enemies and competitors, rather than companions and partners, like they were during the 1960's, which was our greatest era ever as a race of people. 




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Again, Feminism partnered with The Welfare System (or The Farewell Dad System) taught Black women to promote gender pride and separation as well as (government issued) independence, while the 1960's Black Power Movement taught both Black men and Black women the importance of "race pride", and more importantly, "gender unity" between the Black man and his African Queen. The Black man NEVER told his Queen they could not vote. He NEVER told his Queen she could NOT pursue a career. It was the white man who didn't want neither the Black man or the Black woman to have the right to vote, thus the reason for the 1955 Civil Rights Movement

Due to extreme racism throughout the 1930's, 40's, 50' and 60's, the Black man and the Black woman shared the same struggles. Neither were in a position to oppress or suppress the other. HIS-STORY was HER-STORY too! This is why most Black children today don't have any form of "race pride". Instead, our young females are being taught "woman power, pride and gender separation!"



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On the other side of this destructive spectrum, our young males are being mentally conditioned by this societal conspiracy to become "thugs, pimps, gangsters and career womanizers. This is why America today embraces single, Black motherhood.... 

                                                           But I digress!

The cartoons below shows exactly how the Black woman was deceived by the 1970's Feminist Movement





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Now some 40 plus years later these same so-called feminist white women are living the best of both worlds and are now sleeping with, marrying and raising bi-racial families with your rich, prominent Black men in record numbers, while 70% of ALL Black women in this country struggle severely to find a quality candidate for love, relationships and marriage. Sadly, many of our younger Black Sistahs today are turning to each other in record numbers for love and (lesbian) relationships as a direct result of the so-called Feminist or Woman Power Movement.  

My question to ALL modern day feminist Black women is as follows: 

Is there really a profound "Sisterhood" between contemporary feminist white women and Black women today, or were white women (since the 1970's) very successful and very instrumental at helping the white man implement and escalate gender pride and separation between the Black man and his African Queen?  

Even though traditional values may sound somewhat submissive, reactionary, outmoded and very oppressive to most modern day, feminist Black women, it was the one thing that got their grandmothers married and kept the marriage intact. I understand that modern day Black women have fought very hard for so many things and rightfully so. But it should not come at the expenses of destroying and totally eradicating the two-parent Black family unit. "RACE PRIDE" and unity is much more important than "GENDER PRIDE" and SEPARATION between Black men and Black women. Ladies, race pride, honor and unity along with relationship morals and complete family values has to take precedence over being selfish, self-centered and so-called independent.  


Not having a husband today allows most Black women to do whatever they want, whenever and however they want to do it. But in order to get and keep a husband, these same women will have to learn to "share" the power and certain points will have to be "surrendered". I can't understand why most Black women today are so terrified of being committed or somewhat dependent upon a man in a relationship setting but at the same time dread the prospect of being single and alone, or hate the fact that prominent Black men are now dating and marrying women from other races. 




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"Other Women Took All Of Our Good Black Men,  Leaving Us Nothing 
But Thugs, Pimps, and Emasculated Momma's Boys. No Wonder Why
It Seems As Though Black Women Are  "Holding Down" The Black 
Race. Because The Above Males Are What She's Raising And Who She
 Chooses To Breed With!" Another One Of Those Vicious Cycles! 

By Europeans educating and strategically creating more empowering opportunities for Black women and throwing them into Corporate America, it seems to fill the void without posing a significant threat. But like any other drug, those same Black women are now realizing on a daily basis that "the escape eventually becomes the cage." It's actually fool's gold if you ask me.... Great career, nice home, expensive automobile, designer wardrobes but NO quality Black KING to share it with, or to grow old with. Another reason why Europeans want Black women economically empowered is because she's labeled as being the world's biggest consumer! She represents a very high-octane boost to many European and Asian economies around the world. 


For example: Many Black women today are foolishly wasting the Black dollar by the tens of billions on garbage such as designer labels, colored contact lenses, synthetic (piss blonde) hair or wigs, bleaching creams, fake nails, fake eyelashes, etc. They are also wasting the Black dollar on expensive surgeries to desperately alter their physical features in order to obtain a more Euro-centric look to appeal to, or to become socially accepted and or validated in the eyes of white males (massa), and or other non-Black males from other ethnic groups when all they have to do is learn how to better BALANCE their time wisely and become even more determined to COEXIST with their own Black men. 

The Bottom Line Is This: To turn things completely around Black women need to "do less" and try much harder to "become more of a balanced individual" for her quality Black male counterpart. They don't need to do or be apart of everything all at the same time.

They must also learn to stop "COMPETING" with quality Black men and learn to "COLLABORATE" with them as well as learn how to compliment their assertive and aggressive energy with feminine softness and serenity


Please hear me: I'm NOT preaching a philosophy of "Black women be seen and not heard." No, not at all. But I have come to realize that  many of my educated and independent Black Sistahs today are simply "way out of touch with their feminine side"....therefore, they are "way out of touch with their Black men."  

And begging males from other races to date and or to marry you is NOT the solution to the problem either, because they too will find that you have extreme issues "BALANCING" your time wisely for them as well. And trust me, they are much more incline to exploit Black women financially and sexually, because they know most Black women today are mentally conditioned to be more subservient to them due to having an inferior, "slave-like" mental mind-set. In other words.... dishonorable males from other ethnic groups know they will get a "free pass" from Black women simply because their skin is NOT Black. They know that multitudes of self-hating Black women today are more inclined to love, respect and treat them much better than they treat their own Black men, including their own biological sons.


Unfortunately, there's an article currently floating all over the Internet today called; "How To Get A White Man", and one of the key focal points of the article is for Black women to; "Leave The Black Girl "Attitude" At Home!" If this article is true and if it was written by a Black woman, then she's basically telling other Black women it's ok to give their own Black men the "Black girl attitude" but white males are much BETTER than themselves and don't deserve their nasty attitudes? You will NEVER read such foolishness from Jewish women regarding German Nazi males.

By that I mean you will never hear of a Jewish woman writing and bragging about having a strong desire to date, or wanting to sleep with, or who is more than willing to place a German Nazi male far above herself and or her own men, even if he is a Holocaust apologist. It would be completely disrespectful and a total insult to the 6 million Jewish men and women who were tortured and murdered via the German Nazi gas chambers during the Holocaust.

Only "self-hating" Black women will write and embrace such foolishness....but again, I digress.....

The reason why most (not all) women from other races and ethnic groups appear very attractive in the eyes of quality Black men today has nothing to do with the color of their skin. It's mainly because many of them are taught traditional values, namely how to "BALANCE" between their family and their career, and more importantly, many of them embrace and pride themselves on promoting and exuding that very profound traditional feminine essence, which is very very attractive to any man. 


So Sistahs PLEASE stop bleaching your skin and PLEASE take off those silly looking piss blonde wigs. That's NOT what "real" Black men are attracted to or the reasons why they are with white or other non-Black women. Black men are choosing other women because their feminine essence is much more pleasant to deal with than a woman who is/was mentally conditioned by Mainstream Society and her feminist peers to embrace a very combativemean, nasty, anti-male attitude!



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"Did White Feminism Trick Black Women Out Of Their Men
And Perhaps Created Even More Opportunities For Interracial 
Relationships Between Black Men And Other Women?" 




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Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are now today's
hottest interracial couple and they are now 

the most popular faces of today's 
interracial relationships!
You Sistahs from the bop era, where the man has his own set of dance steps and the woman has hers, but as a couple you are still two partners and must move together.

If a man were to ask you to dance and he said something like....... 

"I'm going to be in charge and you're going to follow my lead. I want you to adjust your dance moves to fit in with mine!" 





                               How would you respond to him? 


Chances are, most of you Sistahs today would dismiss him and with one hand on your hip, head shaking and finger pointing, tell him that you have just as much dancing skills as he does and that he can't tell you what to do because you are a "strong, independent, Black woman".

It's so sad, because the average Black woman today would feel inferior because her role is different from his, and him acting as a real man would naturally feel as though it's his responsibility to take the lead. Ladies, please allow him to take your hand and just go with the flow. You constantly cry about Black men NOT standing up as leaders and as being men of character or men of action, and when these honorable Brothas finally do show up, you are threatened by his strength and his leadership capabilities. 

You can't have it both ways Sistahs. You can either continue to be physically, mentally and verbally abused by the good for nothing, street thugs. You can continue to allow the pimps and gigolos to exploit you financially and sexually, especially the non-Black ones. You can continue to take care of the grown ass, emasculated momma's boys you are raising today, or you are going to have to relinquish some of that will-power and independence to a real KING, especially if he's really what you claim to want. It's just that simple Black woman!

Unfortunately, many Black women today out of fear and or foolish pride will remain single by choice, invest in {{{{{sex}}}}} toys, cramp those middle fingers masturbating, and or become bi-sexual or lesbians, while other's will continue to foolishly believe that white or other non-Black males are the "only" modern-day solution to their love and relationship issues....as if non-Black males don't lie, cheat, or exploit women financially and sexually, and toy with their emotions as well! 

                                       "Don't go back to being his bed-wench!"  
                                                          


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Sexual exploitation of the Black woman at it's finest! 


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Because of the strategic mental conditioning of most Black women towards Black men today, it's now much easier for white and other non-Black males to exploit them sexually (as shown above), just as they did during the days of slavery!

You will never witness Jewish women writing books, creating blogs and or websites, or publicly bragging about their strong desire and willingness to become bed wenches for German Nazi males, even if they are Holocaust apologists.

Today, many Black women will continue to deny or accept any  form of accountability for the role(s) they play in their own relationship issues as well as our cultural demise, and go on to teach the next generation how to repeat the same destructive, non-productive cycle.... then foolishly declare; "they are holding down the Black race!

Today, we are "down" as a race. Yes we are! Our Black children had a much better chance of growing up with both parents as slaves then they do today! In today's educational institutions, our Black children have the lowest grade point averages, especially in math and science than any other students from other ethnic groups. And despite being only 14 percent of the overall U.S. population, African Americans have the highest abortion rates, the highest incarceration rates and a growing number of single-parent households than any other ethnic group here in the US. So yes, it's quite apparent that we are holding ourselves "down"...... despite having a so-called Black president! 


Please understand, I'm not suggesting that Black women leave the church, or quit their government jobs or stop doing things for the community. Again, all I'm suggesting is that Black single and seeking women must learn the importance of "BALANCE" in a relationship setting, and master those other "FEMININE" skills and qualities that are very necessary to maintain a happy, healthy relationship. It's one thing to get a man ladies, but it takes a great deal of other skills and qualifications to keep him



And Ladies please hear me very clearly, I'm ONLY speaking on behalf of "QUALITY" Black men, I'm NOT referencing thugs, momma's boys, dead beats, grown boys, or any other classless group of Black males perpetrating manhood.


  Dancing solo, many of you SISTAHS have mastered that! 


With that being said: Sistahs, you must all learn how to accept his lead (assuming he's Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now) and how to just "GROW" with the flow. And please, don't mistake a "Grown Boy" for a"Knight In Shinning Armor". Quality Black men today should NOT be held accountable for "what you allowed" some grown boy to do to you in the past. This is also a major problem for most Black women today! They don't know what a real man is, especially in the form of a leader, a provider, a protector, a true lover and a man of genuine honor and integrity.


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"A Quality Black Man....I Have No Problem 
Following His Lead!"


Black women today should NOT be required to "THINK LIKE A MAN" in order to get one and keep one. They are reading far into the "comic books" written by pimps and hypocritical individuals out to exploit them financially

"LADIES....THINK LIKE A MAN AND MAYBE
YOU'LL GET ONE AND KEEP ONE!!"


Likewise, they are listening to those modern-day, man-hating lesbians - aka feminist, instead of lining themselves up with the "NATURAL" order of  human behavior. All Black women are required to do today is to; "ACT LIKE A LADY" and completely understand the "NATURAL" co-existing, common sense aspects of maintaining a happy, healthy relationship with a quality Black man. 

And they are as follows:  

1)- "SHARING" is much better than "COMPARING".

2)- A "COMPANION" is much more desirable than a "COMPETITOR".
3)- Career and relationships both require different skills and abilities.
4)- A great paying career does NOT entitle a Black woman to a good man.
5)- It is virtually impossible to be a Queen without a King. 
6)- Any Black woman can still be "pro-woman" without becoming "anti- man".
7)- "Love power" is much stronger and more healthier to a relationship than "will power".
8)- God gave the Black woman to the Black man as an ornament, NOT as an instrument!
9)- Black men love Black women for their natural differences, NOT their material similarities.
10)- It takes a penis and a vagina to start and perhaps finish a very successful two-parent Black family.

Please note: None of the above statements are very oppressive to Black women at all. And none of them are anti-progressive regarding career oriented Black women. However, most, if not all of the statements above are very NON CONFORMING with that all too popular destructive feminist mentality that most Black women embrace today.




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Again, I’m not opposed to Black women, nor am I opposed to self-sufficient Black women. I’m just very much opposed to a destructive mentality that has completely eradicated all of the major feminine characteristics and qualities from many of our Black Sistahs today. Also, I'm very much opposed to that destructive, counter-productive "I DON'T NEED A MAN" attitude towards Black men. 

The above statement again is one of the major reasons why over 70% of our Black women are single, bi-sexual, lesbian or into solo-pleasuring today. It is totally foolish and completely unethical for any race, creed or culture of women to adamantly declare; "They don't need their men!"


ASIDE FROM BLACK MEN, NO OTHER MAN CAN PROCREATE OR MAKE BLACK WOMEN! So yes, the Black man is very much relevant. 

Black woman, from this day forward, every date with a Black man (assuming he's "MR. RIGHT" and NOT Mr. Right Now) is an excellent opportunity for you to help re-write your own history and to help set (by example) much better priorities and moral standards for our next generation of Black men and women as it pertain to; Race Pride, Gender Unity, Moral Obligations, True Love, Committed Relationships, Marriage and Complete (Black) Family Values


The above are what real "STRONG" Black women should prefer to do! 


In closing: Sistahs, we must ALL conclude that In order for Black women to lower their "single and seeking" percentages (70%)...."WOMANISM" has to take precedence over "FEMINISM!" Listen very carefully as Dr. Umar Johnson expounds further (in the video below) regarding this very critical point! 




As an added bonus, please view the 3 part video below regarding The Hidden Truth About Most Modern Day African American Women!


                                                               
                                          
                                          



                                             






                                     ALL Thoughts Are Welcome!


59 comments:

  1. Basically white women were able to separate the greater sexist societal injuries such as underemployment, low wages, and suffrage issues apart from the more interpersonal dynamics between men and women during the feminist movement - and black women are still struggling to make that basic distinction, hence there exists a hostile perception of the black male that is intertwined with the larger male-controlled society thereby resulting in a division between the sexes.

    Moreover, because the movement was mostly spearheaded by lesbians, there was never a real attempt to prevent a male-female chasm at the interpersonal level. But somehow it seems that only black women have been unable to salvage the much precious interpersonal relations between the genders, albeit structurally basic conjugal realities - such as income disparity and black male incarceration- have made the task even more difficult for black women due to systemic racism.

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  2. I get where you're going with this but the answer is not that simple...because if you look around MEN will 'claim' they want a woman who has a career and is about something and if your only goal is to be a housewife they spit on that too. I think the answer is that many men are pathological and objectify women and they can get away with twisting women's brains which has led us towards the pretzel bending brigade...nevermind the 'Why' or trying to figure it out. We are strong, what made us strong is of no consequence and either a man is able to "Man up" or he can't, and if he can't meet you on your level, it would be insane to partner down...I'd like to hear some of the men ask themselves WHY...I'm tired of bearing the burden for weak men. I'm also fine riding solo because if you can't meet me where I'm at and enhance the experience we call life, then you're not seducing my mind and without that - you got nothing...

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    1. daaaammmmnnn! what part of BALANCE DID YOU NOT HEAR! How many times does the author use the word BALANCE! to the trained eye or ear your attitude is quite prevalent. youv got all the femanazi terms down......objectify, Man up,my level..gentlemen if you hear speak like this, then you talk like this...see ya.

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    2. It seems you are so busy talking, demanding, needing you have little to no time exactly understanding what you are there to offer. I am amazed that any man spent any time even finding out what you want. You are so busy looking over a menu that you don't realize men are not there to wait on you hand and foot or to be your meals. We don't really care what degree or what income you have unless you have a woman's heart that can complement a mans. Do you get it now ? If you don't (rather be alone than lonely and with someone) you will leave this earth without any progeny or proof that you were ever here. To have that happen over some, frankly, fraudulent philosophizing would be the most egregious of willful mistakes. We(those on this Blog) have no interest, no stake in your changing your mindset if you happen to think that's why we are telling you all this. We are not asking you to date us. It would just be a tragedy of unimaginable proportions for a black women, someone that could be my sister, to have children because she failed to realize she had been duped. The white folks call it "natural selection", they would have words for such things because theirs is a dog-eat-dog world. That's who and what they are, alien. We don't because we take care of our own or at least try not to leave anyone behind.

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  3. id like to see your commentary regarding Black men and their role in all of this. The " dont need a man" is pURE reaction of being impregnated, used, abused, lied to and discarded by black men. many women RATHER be alone than go through what their mothers, sisters or friends have dealt with -- black men who are really not at all interested in sticking around and taking responsibility for the progress of their race.
    I agree that many Black women are waay too negative, with chips on their shoulder. But you can not just chide them for their behaviors without equally and fully critiquing the black man for his issues. The black male apologists always blame the black woman for not supporting the black man. Not only did we support him, we raised his children and supported his home WITHOUT him, in his absence. Are you saying that black women have not put up with the worst type of behavior in order to keep their so called man? cheating , lying, violence, drug use, incarceration? it is saying something HUGE when women are willing to DO IT ALONE than to wait for you to get your ish together.
    Trust me, black women LOVE black men, our hearts break searching for you, and you just turn around and blame us for everything wrong between us. Its because of our attitudes? feminism? white people? NO. ts nobodys fault but yours and mine.

    A queen doesnt just agree with you, and cook for you, that's what maids are for. Woman hood is not just about servitude, and feminine nature is not just about being a servile figure. those are very old slave mentality ideals of feminism. if you want a maid, hire a maid, if you want a QUEEN, figure out what that means to you. Who do you want the mother of your children to be? passive? all accepting? servile? ALL kingdoms require partnerships. And a QUEEN is just as powerful and brilliant as her KING.
    i still have hope that the Black man does not need me to be less, so that he can feel like more.
    i think its time to redefine, or review, what exactly we want from each other. Do we want love, support, encouragement, decision making, investment input, planning, negotiation, empire building partnerships? or do we want some rehashed ozzie and harriett, father knows best, where the woman says "yes dear" and the man makes all the decisions right or wrong? that's a fantasy world. other races are figuring this out. they are changing their views of gender roles, because the old ones dont work! what do you want from a black woman, and just as important, what do you have to offer her in exchange? Not like "what are you gonna do for me" but really, what do you WANT to do for her, what do YOU want to bring to her life?

    it is much better to be alone and lonely, than to be with s your mate and feel just as lonely.

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    1. You really do not get it.
      A real woman's desire is for a man (biblical). Yes, she must feed nurture and adore him. If he does not get this, he will walk and he should. This is not asking women to be passive and servile as character traits, but as tools to assume to strengthen and maintain the relationship.

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    2. Well guess what...I did all those things (feed, nuture, adore). And he still left me for a white woman. You know he's still not happy. So maybe the problem is not me (or her). It's him.

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    3. I guess being that you emphasize getting a maid to cook means you can't, or you won't cook. I could simplify and/or clarify your misconceptions. However, you wrote this a year ago, and you seem too far gone anyway, so I'm most likely wasting my time. I am fortunate enough to have a good black woman as described by the author of this blog. She has no bastard children, no baggage and loves and respects me as a man and I in turn respect her as a black woman. Oh yeah, she'll cook for me as well, we DON'T need a maid. Were're like "Ozzie and Harriet." We are engaged by the way and I'm am proud to say, I'm a good all true black man and I will love this woman 'till the end of time. I feel sorry for you, you still don't get it! sad

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  4. First and foremost Ms. Anonymous, thank you for sharing your response from your own personal perspective!

    Now to answer your questions and respond to some of your remarks:

    1) - "id like to see your commentary regarding Black men and their role in all of this."

    ANSWER - Unfortunately, this particular blog post depicts the "Single (and seeking) Black Woman" only, and her roles as to why she may remain single. Black men do play a major role as to why many Black women choose to remain "single by choice" today, and will be featured in a whole different post on this blog in the near future.

    2) - "Are you saying that black women have not put up with the worst type of behavior in order to keep their so called man?"

    ANSWER - That's NOT what this topic is implying at all. Again, this topic is simply for self-examination purposes for single and seeking Black women, and the role(s) they may (unknowingly) play in them being single. WE cannot blame ALL Black men for the poor choice most Black women make today regarding what they foolishly classify as being a man. For many Black women today, they fail miserably or choose not to see ALL of the "RED FLAGS" in the beginning. Unfortunately, most Black women today choose to be with thugs and classless males then go on to mistakenly fail an entire gender simply because they have no profound knowledge as to what a real man is. The types of males you depicted in the above question ie, cheating, lying, violence, drug use, incarceration are in many cases being raised today by Black women.

    So as a result, many Black women (today) are forced to breed with the same males they are raising. It's a very viscous cycle and will continue to remain viscous and very repetitive until Black men and Black women equally learn to "collaborate" with one another and STOP "competing" with one another with regards to raising Black children, namely Black males. Both parents MUST SHARE the responsibility. "It is much easier (as a female "mother" and a male "father" tandem) to raise strong sons than to repair broken men."

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  5. 3) - "The black male apologists always blame the black woman for not supporting the black man."

    RESPONSE - Please be advised, I'm NOT a "Black male apologist", nor am I a "Black female apologist. LOL...I'm not an "apologist" at all! I'm the exact opposite of an "apologist". I'm a "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITIC" (as you can tell by the contents of this blog). I happen to have a MA in Sociology and a Bachelors of Science in African American Culture. I work for the PA. Department of Human Services, and most of my clients are Black displaced "single mothers" and Black male "juvenile delinquents". I'm actually an "advocate" for African American Unity, and Progression here in the US, as well as an "advocate" for African Unity and Progression around the globe. Whether anyone agree or disagree, based on my 18 years of experience regarding this particular subject matter, the content of this topic is clearly in-line with it's title.

    4) - "i still have hope that the Black man does not need me to "be" less, so that he can feel like more."

    RESPONSE - That's not what the topic implied. Again, my advice to single and seeking Black women was that "Black women need to "DO LESS" (not "be less") and try to BECOME MUCH MORE" to her quality Black male counterpart (not for him to feel like more. A quality Black man don't need to feel like somebody. He's already somebody. You are mistakenly making reference to grown boys in your statement above. In this particular blog post as it pertains to men, I'm NOT eluding to or making reference to grown boys at all. That's why I concluded with - "her QUALITY Black male counterpart."

    People, please read these topics very carefully and with an open mind. Let's all refrain from just pronouncing the words.

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  6. 5) - "other races are figuring this out. they are changing their views of gender roles, because the old ones don't work!"

    RESPONSE - Why do we always feel like we have to pattern ourselves (as a race) after everyone else, even in how we choose to coexist with our own (Black) men and women? This is the biggest problem with African Americans today. They always want to integrate to be validated by and follow trends of other ethnic groups including immoralizational and demoralizational trends.

    Gender Roles - THE OLD ONE'S DON'T WORK? REALLY? Then maybe you can explain to us as to why the "DIVORCE RATE" (even in the church) is at an all-time high today and are continuing to escalate in record numbers within the African American community.

    So again, Why Are So Many Quality Black Women Single Today? I believe Ms. Anonymous said it best when she proclaimed - "a QUEEN is just as powerful and brilliant as her KING."

    Case and point: NO relationship will ever work if the woman and the man both think like men, competing with one another and engaging into senseless power struggles over finances, decision-making, gender-roles, etc. By nature that's what two men are inclined to do, even if one of them happens to be a Black woman. How can a QUEEN and a KING be classified as equal? Answer: When you (Black women) claim to want to be someone's Queen (his lady) and mainstream society keeps pressuring you to act and think like a KING (a man)....it's quite obvious as to why a King and Queen are equal. It's very confusing to most African American women! Unbeknownst to most, this is clearly why hordes of African American women are sitting on their thrones all alone today! America (Welfare) has turned many of them into subliminal KINGS. Quality Black men today are NOT waiting for Black women to get their mental, psychological and gender priorities in order. Women from other races who know, value and embrace their respective (gender) roles are clearly winning the battle and the hearts of "Quality" Black men. Today, I strongly believe that very passive, emasculated, European males as well as grown, Black Mamma's boys are the perfect fit for African American females who want to be large and in charge, or the KING (man) of her castle!

    To all of you "traditional", career oriented Black women, who embrace what God has called and commissioned you to be as an honorable, virtuous woman, I salute you to the highest for enduring and NOT conforming to today's destructive and non-productive feminist mentality that has turned hordes of Black women into (psychological) men. You are in great demand today to help save and maintain the Black race. Continue to love, honor and collaborate with quality Black men. Again, you can be "pro-woman" without becoming "anti-man." Anything contrary to the above statements is not a "Queen" mentality at all. In fact, anything contrary to the above is nothing more than; Lesbian Pride!

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  7. This was an amazing article I am a black man with multiple college degrees, a home, cars, and no children/baby mama drama, and I can tell you from experience my relationship is on the verge of ending for this same purpose. Its so sad but so true. Ladies please read, respect, and understand where he's coming from there are good black men but we are getting frustrated with being second and/or treated like your enemy. We don't wont to belittle you just to love you but sometimes its hard to deal with communicating what we want from you without you feeling offended or undermined seriously!

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  8. Great post Mr. Anonymous,

    My points exactly! Again, I'm not against Black women, nor am I the enemy of self-sufficient Black women, I'm only trying to impart in them what their collective roles are regarding our coexisting issues as Black men and women from a man' perspective. Rebellion in the form of gender-pride and gender-separation is a very powerful nemesis and is very capable of destroying and possibly eradicating Black Love, Gender Unity, as well as the complete, two-parent Black Family Structure. Today, the writings are on the walls of many Black communities all across America!

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  9. I truly love this article. You have opened my eyes even more to what is going on in our black community today. Days ago I did not understand why a lot of black men are not in relationships with many black women, and why black women are choosing to stay single and give up on finding true love at all. My mother is a single parent of 3. She reminds me every bit of what you said in this article and it always wrecks me to hear her talk and act like a strong feminist and very "anti-man" and "independent", and she does not acknowledge I have had a healthy relationship with a quality black man for almost 2 years now since I have been in college. I believe that makes it difficult for black children being raised by single mothers today to find a good man when they get older because they tend follow their mother's footsteps. I was lucky to never follow hers and follow the traditional ways being young as I am (20 & my man is 22). I personally think it's a beautiful thing to treat men with great companionship and is the only way to keep a good man around. I am going to recommend this to many friends. Your article is blessed to make changes to our black community and to strengthen more black women to change and unite with more of our black men.

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  10. This is a great article, I will definitely be sure to pass them on to my single female friends. I see so much of what this article speaks about in them and so many other women now. Black woman always want to know why black men go to woman outside of our race and its simply stated above, the woman are no longer womanly they are very manly. Its a sad sight to see. Keep spreading the knowledge and we as a people will get better.

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  11. Wow! I came across this article as research into a book I am considering writing. A basic concept that I think really has not been addressed in the Black community, changing of the perception of the Black Woman. I really like this article because it speaks to the "softer side" of Black Women. It reminds me of a quote from a movie "Your so busy fighting that you don't realize when you have won". This article has helped me because I I have zero problems attracting and being in committed relationships with awesome black men. BUT, I have a huge challenge with closing the deal (marriage). I realize it's the "softer side" of me that is missing in these relationships. I start off with it but some how over the course of time, lose it or fail to maintain it. This article has helped me to realize that I need to LEARN how to be authentically feminine in my relationship with men. I have to put as much focus on learning this trait as I have done in my pursuit of degrees and my six figure income. Thanks for sharing.

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  12. Dear Author, Yes I totally get it! I get that you are saying women should embrace the innate feminine characteristics God has put in her. I also know that in Prov 31, God describes a virtuous woman as a shrewd business woman, a home maker, a nurturer, and the caretaker of her children. Your point is valid! Many women, no matter if they are in corporate America or sell Tupper ware can have a masculine personalities. I'm not saying you are saying it is exclusive to only those who are successful, but the way you have presented your insights appear to target these very women. What I think needs to happen on both ends of the spectrum, in my humble opinion, is that both black men and black women need to learn how to be appropriate. There is never a time a woman should not feminine but there are times when a woman has to be more aggressive than her usual state of being. Aggressive in instances does not mean masculine in all. I think we are all struggling to find our niche, where we feel needed, loved,and wanted, by someone special. Because of this driving need not being fulfilled, both black women and MEN lose perspective. Both sexes need to be in loving relationships, but I think sometimes people overlook that every person brings out something different in a person than someone else did. There are characteristics in a black man that can incite a more masculine trait in a woman if he is not operating within his innate characteristics of "protect" and "provide" (traditional). In most instances, the man is the aggressor or rather the "approacher", and how he approaches a black woman can make the difference between a kitty cat or a tiger. If a black man is operating in his "rightness" I don't know too many women who wouldn't drop that "I don't need him act" and turn into an unguarded, feminine, tender, sweet thing. I think its more about the TWO individuals and the synergy that may or may not exist upon meeting, more so than about a woman being masculine. I am single, and in corporate America, and am very feminine. I have learned to love the skin Im in and to make it as feminine as possible (whatever that is), thats my beauty, but I still have not been able to find a husband. Or let me rephrase that, my husband has still yet to find me. Whomever God has for me is for me,and in that, all I need to BE and BECOME, will come to be.The relationship itself is defining. It serves not only to administer love but to prune and refine both people that are involved. While black women need to become loveable in order to be loved, black men need protrude security and stability,in order not to be rejected, which doesnt happen often. Once a woman feels secure and can feel protected, most black men will get a more inviting reception and the more a woman encounters this from black men they will automatically revert to their feminine side. As a sociologist, Im sure you know, most women are reactionary in social circles versus being the initiators of interactions between the sexes. I think whether it be the initiator or the reactor, once we, both BLACK WOMEN and BLACK MEN understand it is ok to be what we were created to be, then the need for many women to protect themselves with "masculinity" will disappear and the fear many men have of being "used" or taken for granted will allow them to be received with feminine loving arms. Its a 50/50 thing. Just my opinion of my 45 year of experiences of being a woman.

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  13. Thank you Ms. 45 for sharing your views and perspectives regarding this post.

    In response to a few of your comments:

    Your comment: "There are characteristics in a black man that can incite a more masculine trait in a woman if he is not operating within his innate characteristics of "protect" and "provide" (traditional)."

    My response: First and foremost, If a woman is truly of feminine character, there's absolutely nothing any man can do that will cause her to transition herself from a soft, beautiful, butterfly into a unpleasant, ill-favored moth!

    Your comment: "While black women need to become loveable in order to be loved, black men need protrude security and stability,in order not to be rejected, which doesnt happen often."

    My response: Because feminism has now claim and emasculated the last 3 generations of Black males, the above characteristics required of Black men today by Black women i.g., "SECURITY" and "STABILITY" were not morally instilled in many of our Black males growing up. As a result, many Black males today are "less-than-men" or products of feminism. And what's most disturbing about it all, is that the same women who raised him to be "less than a man" now have the balls as well as the compunction to bash him, to discredit him and to compare him to other men who are being hand-fed with a silver spoon!

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  15. White and or Asian males are only thriving in a systematic society that was created exclusively for their own success and survival. With that being said, I think it's totally unfair that materialistic and capitalistic, feminist Black women today put other men above their own. Other men wasn't brought here against their will in shackles and chains, beaten and lynched, decapitated and murdered. They didn't have to experience or watch their women being beaten, raped, scald, or burned alive, namely their young daughters. Other men do not have to constantly battle racial profiling or racial discrimination on a daily basis as do the Black man.

    In the case of raising boys to men, real manhood training has to be done by real men, not by grown momma's boys perpetrating manhood, or by feminist Black women who think and act like men. This is what many of today's contemporary, feminist Black women are NOT getting. Many of our young, inexperience, feminist Black women today are completely unqualified to raise their Black sons to become quality Black men, simply because many of them don't know or even have a clue as to what a real man is. If they did then 63% of them wouldn't be raising children alone! This is the biggest reason for the lack of quality Black men in our society today! It's a very vicious, on-going cycle of failure and incompetence on both sides!

    It's why 80% of all Black women in this country will never marry a Black man. It's because 3 generations of feminism has completely destroyed most of them. This is why the Black woman is being rewarded with freedom and "government issued independence", even in the form of white collar jobs. She is being given the opportunity to join Corporate America as a subliminal form of initiation into the Euro Secret Society.

    By that I mean, any enemy or destroyer of Black men is a true friend of White Supremacy! This is why America embraces and rewards feminist Black woman. She represents the destruction of Black manhood starting with her own sons. She unknowingly has become a staple member of the New World Order! An order that requires the complete annihilation of the entire Black race, starting with the Black male image being tarnished and completely destroyed. Abortions, interracial relationships, HIV/aids, poor health & dieting, poor economics, total dependency, mis-education, drugs, alcohol, homicides, Black male incarceration, homosexuality and the emasculation process of the Black man by way of feminism are all taking a heavy toll on the future survival of the Black race.

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  17. Black women have completely sold-out for "fools gold" or greed in the form of capitalism, materialism, consumerism, all of which are mistaken for so-called strength and independence. This is why the Black woman so desperately want's to look like her oppressor.

    It feeds her insecurities as well as her low-self esteem, which means she desperately needs to be socially accepted and validated by Mainstream Euro-society in order to feel a sense of self-worth and value about herself. This is how slavery and modern day oppression mentally conditioned her. She hates the skin she's in! The fake blonde hair, the colored contact lenses, the fake eyelashes, the bleaching of the skin, sleeping with and placing other males far above her own, as well as being the global-leader in abortions truly symbolizes her massive degree of "self-hate" and race devaluation.

    Once the Black woman help White Supremacy completely destroy the Black man, then White Supremacy will also destroy her as well. This "Trojan Horse" tactic is in full affect today.

    "WAKE UP BLACK WOMAN!"

    You are not as educated or as superior as you think you are. The white man is only supplying you enough rope to hang yourself and to completely destroy the Black race in the process!

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  18. Well most of them nowadays are just too damn picky.

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    1. Blackwomen are wayy too racist against blackmen cause we allow them to. Leave them alone and never give them the time of day. Anyone can just sit back and watch blackfemales and will come to the same conclusions that they look act and talk like men! They're finished! Damaged goods unwanted masculine drama queens who nobody wants.

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  19. Dear Dr. Umar Abudullah,

    All I can say is WOOOOOOOOOW!!! This information about Black women is PHENOMENAL, especially your YouTube about Black Feminists vs. Black Womanists! I LOOOOOOOOOOVED IT!!! BRAVO!! I just got an "awe" moment because this is something that I have been noticing and try to get my Black counterparts to understand all along! I soo appreciate you saying this and breaking it down the issues created by Europeans between the Black man, and the Black woman! It is true that many "liberal" Europeans are the one's who "trick" us into thinking one way, when all along we are the one's who were, and still are the projects of their ideas, and organizations! I guess I can consider my self as a Black Womanist because a Black man and Black woman are meant to be, in which they are NOTHING if they don't have each other! Black men and Black women go through the same issues throughout life and have similar stories. I guess I'm also considered a Black Womanist because I come from a two-parent household)(parents, Black father and Black mother); grandparents who are still happily married to each other and so on, so we're a PROUD and BLESSED African American family! We LOVE and embrace who we are as a Black family and in today's society I want to see more of that! NOT separation!! We must UNITE together as one!! God bless you brotha! ~Sincerely a Sistah who loves the Brothas

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  20. all i can say is thank you for having the balls to tell the truth to these females....rather it hurts, offends, or angers the lot of them, at least they now have an insight on our issue...I'm only 22 myself but even i as a little boy knew of a different time enough to see how far apart black men and women have grown from each other. Yes us men have our issues that I'm sure will be discussed over and over again but right now the discussion concerns OUR black females so ladies i beg you to please drop that reeeeeeediculous, arrogant, self-centered, little prideful attitude of not being able to handle the truth immediately after you say "you can handle it, just tell me the truth"lol. Suck it all up, because i already know just on impulse, how the majority of you will take it. Breathe in and on the exhale drop that pride and take in everything that i hope you read correctly. The truth does not come how you want it nor are you supposed to feel how you think you should feel about the truth. Just take it all in, and then let it settle in your mind because remember you've been trying it your way for how long? And have you been really happy and content? Maybe, just maybe, he might be on to something....think it over, and when you're ready good quality men, however few there are, including myself will be waiting to pick you out of hundreds, stretch out our hand and ask you to dance with us

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  21. Hi All,
    Women, and Black Women in particular, have become consumers. They want a certain basket of goods. They want a Woman that pulls certain levers and pushes certain buttons so they can have a "happy life". White or black that's what they want. They also have become truth avoiders. It's the gentlest term to the term I really wish to use but let's be genteel because that's what men are.
    From when she gets out of her bed and gets dressed to when she gets back in it a woman lies the truth about her looks, about her hair. She deludes others, and some maybe even themselves, in believing she is pushed to do this by men's/society's demands. In truth the makeup, the weave/wig etc is all so she can access a life(a man, a job etc) she does not otherwise feel she is entitled or qualified to get. Once she gets on that treadmill or years after she gets on it to complain about being divorced from the man she should not have married anyway raising the children in the style she was not qualified or entitled to have bitterly is akin to blaming someone else for her own greediness. And that's another thing. Very few are the women that won't be lured by the something-for-nothing, or something-for-less-than-what-it's-worth. It's what drives them nuts shopping, it's an addiction to the hormones they get when they get one over all the other women or girls.
    And if men really sat and thought about it, it's a sad commentary that we allow ourselves to sacrifice our lives so woman can get their hormonal kicks. I am sure what I say here and now won't change eon's of conditioning. Perhaps I am even looking for moderation in men as to what we sacrifice and how we approach women. But being a basket of goods, a means to her ends, in some cases just an ATM is really not what we set out in life to do.

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  22. One thing you did not mention is the institutionalization of our young black men. If you have noticed the recent Obama administration call to schools to seek remedies within the school system. It underlines what Black communities have been saying for decades, that young black men are renditioned out of schools into the justice system in extraordinarily high numbers. They spend more time in jail, being emasculated and emasculating other black me. When they graduate from jail that invariably turns them into predators they are released into the black population to prey on us. The system takes innocent children, turn them into monsters. If Black women think this has nothing to do with them wait until you have a black child, pray its a girl, if its a boy he wont turn 10 before they try to get him into the system.
    Now the administrations call, late as it has been, is timely. But we as black men have to act in our children's interest and defense in order to save their lives and souls. One thing I have been thinking about a lot is disengagement. This is a society that preys on blacks. Our men are fodder for their prisons, our women for toys on TV and in the beds of white men and women. How about leaving this country for Africa to raise our children until they are at least past the critical age of 17. Have them attend high school in schools in Ethiopia, Kenya, South Africa, Mozambique etc. I know it will require a lot of sacrifice. But I think the English speaking countries have jobs for Americans in the health and IT sectors and other areas. I just think we need to have an alternative solution to waiting for the government to fetch us pails of water while our houses burn. I have seen and lived in Ethiopia and visited South Africa, Mozambique and other African countries. I have also seen a lot of white folks that have moved there to stretch their dollars. Believe me Blacks belong there much more, and are welcomed much more. There is a fiction that African's look down on African Americans that simply is not true. If you go with a noble thought as raising your children and especially your boys with a strong African set of values they will adopt you and your children. Just don't go there with an American "civilizing" mindset. You will be one the next things smoking back home.

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  23. Your story ! Well done. I learned a lot about myself as a husband, why something's in my marriage became a problem. I was living with a woman who was both a mother, and father. Competed with me on all issues. I made more $ but it didn't matter. At times I felt I was living with a man.,

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  24. congratulations guys, quality information you have given!!! Discover Thetical Man

    ReplyDelete
  25. In a nut shell, I am a 24 year old female with no kids. I have two degrees and a corporate job. I completely agree with this article, however I am the complete opposite of the females you characterize. In fact, I can be some what of a pish over when it comes to relationships. I was raised to let a man be a man, but it seems when I do let whoever I'm dating at that specific time to be a man, it's always like they take me for granted. I know I'm young but it seems as if most men want a challenge. Someone that doesn't let them have there way or someone that brings drama. Now please don't get me wrong, it will take a man a minimum of six months to show me that he deserves the benefits but even then, most of time they will not receive them due to not appreciating me. So what about females like me? I am no where near ugly, I do attract men, but what about the men that will treat me with respect? Sigh.. I don't know what else to say. I just felt I needed to comment.

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    1. Sounds like you (and other black women) have made yourself just what you would like to be for a successful, intelligent, black man..... a challenge! Congratulations!

      Delete
    2. Unfortunately Ms. "Anonymous March 2, 2014", you may not have been in relationships with men but - as the author labels - "grown boys". I think your situation is yet another example of women not knowing what a real man looks like.

      This is such a systemic problem that's it's rather heartbreaking...

      I don't know...maybe I can list a few characteristics to look for:

      A Real Man and a grown boy can almost look identical...a grown boy can even look more "male" than a real man because he seeks to *actively* display/broadcast "alpha" status. But a real man won't need validation...from ANYONE (i.e. he won't do or need to do anything that "communicate" to his world that he's *actually* a real man). Yet his presence commands respect from others automatically (there's nothing he needs to do).

      If he doesn't have the materialistic status symbols that society defines as "success", he doesn't care...but he'll most definitely still be a hard worker with a plan, one which doesn't include or involve or necessitate a woman in his life. And if he does have those material things, he doesn't flaunt them to impress anyone especially you...because he didn't get them for you (unlike grown boy would do).

      More to the point: he doesn't let any external societal forces or pressures compel him to be anyone other than what he chooses to be (i.e. doesn't let music, TV, movies, friends, peers, etc, influence him).

      NOTHING outside of him is required to define the value he has on the inside for himself; he's truly ***internally existent & sustained (born of God)***. True Power & Confidence incarnate. A Rock.

      A Real Man only wants ONE woman...HIS woman. So he will not have many former relationships with women (if *any* at all). He's achieved mastery over his natural lust for women...which means he most definitely may be a virgin, and doesn't care if he is because - again - nothing outside of him defines the value he has for himself. {So find a casual way to ask and learn about his relationship history}. Even though he will notice your lovely body, it's more going to be what you have on the inside (mind, intelligence, femininity) that attracts him and compels him to pursue (because the trend of most beautiful black women is that they're also brainless, "masculine" and have drama...so body/beauty alone will NOT attract a Real Man).

      He's NOTHING like most of today's Black males, so as a natural effect he'll be a bit scary and/or intimidating to you (because he's an "unknown"). It's a shame that this is the case.

      ----

      Now while I feel for your situation, I don't know what you mean by "take me for granted". Also, those who want a "challenge" are still in boy mode still seeking to "play" and "win" said challenge. Real Men personally don't have time for - nor desire for - games/challenges. They're busy.

      Delete
  26. Thank you for this site. It is very helpful and to the point.

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  27. How many of us truly can define the word relationship? First of all, what is a relationship, and what does a true relationship look like?

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  28. Hello, it is great to see this being addressed. One amazing thing about all of this is that we have so much to give to one another in relationships, but have we ever stopped to truly listen to the other person? We all have gifts and talents. I truly do not believe that God placed man on this earth to be alone. I believe as women and men, that when we begin to develop a nurturing and loving relationship with Christ(Yes, Christ:), then we will have the wisdom and knowledge to develop strong relationships with the men and women in our lives, especially with our boyfriend, and girlfriend, fiancée, etc. Here is a question to ponder: How many of us have been attached to the wrong rib? The destructive mentality that many women and men have starts from within. We endure so many trials in our lives, especially when it comes to relationships. Even as adults, many times we just don't know how to handle( rejection, fear, anger, bitterness etc.) it on our own, and we are not equipped. If we were, we would not be repeating trials in our lives, or trying to figure out relationships, women, and men. In a nutshell, the two would just connect. So, something is missing, or should I say, someone. Our Anchor. Thank you for reading and responding. I truly appreciate these discussions. Here is an inspiring website to checkout: http://www.brokenribs.org/2014/03/06/hello-world/#comment-2

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  29. First of all, all the people that have mentioned Church, Jesus or Bible....have any of you been following Biblical teachings like NOT fornicating and being hard workers and good providers?

    Because that's the basic thing here. It's not just about getting married, it's about STAYING married.

    There's 2 things destroying marriage today and also preventing marriage...

    1.fornication and it's after effects and

    2. Family financial failure.

    Simple. This is basically a BIOLOGICAL thing at work. Women even if they are self sufficient still want a provider and a sexually experienced man while men basically just want a virgin or at least a very chaste woman.

    Men and women RESENT having to compromise on these issues. The only things that force or make people to compromise these WANTS is social capital. And who has the most social capital in America? Figure it out.

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    Replies
    1. Amen! If you don't have the Biblical foundation from the One who created marriage anything you say, advise or do is just counterfeit.

      Delete
  30. It's amazing how we learn in feminist class in our college years that black women are posed to be at the bottom of the social class. Textbooks glorify white men as the superior and black men and white women struggle to be second runner up. Leaving black women in last place. Can I ask black men to take this into consideration.? Society makes it harder for black women to reach the corporate level of success as their counterparts. I do understand BALANCE and compromise. I understand the neck rolling and confrontational behavior pose a problem with black women, but I do feel that it's important for black men to communicate and motivate because for black women to compete with other races, we must have the support of our professional black men.

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  31. Feminism is the biggest contributor to Women unhappiness. Here in Africa our mothers and grandmothers were very happy to let the men take the lead. Now women want to lead in everything and it makes them so so sad. So sad that it is hard not to pity them.

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    1. I agree feminism is ugly. When I went to pre marriage counseling with my husband; it was made clear that he is to be the head/lead of the family...I'm 100% obliged and I 100% happy.

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    2. I have no pity for women who want to be the mAn or stand in the battle front of the infantry.I thought we were designed to take the shots and protect our women but it became a challenge for them to get there too! So whatever stress comes with being the breadwinner or recon soldier I hope they will learn to appreciate the stress we go through in those positions !

      Delete
  32. Black lesbians are the biggest trend.

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  33. Very good article and discussions below. What is the response to women who are seeking an alpha companion? A man who takes the lead, and doesn't require a woman to lower her crown so that he can wear his? For example, if his wife were an alpha woman, why couldn't they join as a force to be reckoned with? Unstoppable as a team. Why is it that so many men want a woman to pull back? It leaves her feeling like she operate at her full potential, if he's around. Why can't bith people learn to balance strengths and weaknesses? I refuse to shrink back so he can shine, and I'd be disappointed if he did the same. It's not a competition, nobody is trying to outshine the other. We both will win and take some losses. As long as we know that we both gave it 110%... I don't like the idea of him taking the lead. We share it. He can't let me down, nor can I let him down. It's a team in all things.

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  34. I think it has something to do with the fast lifestyle in the cities these days, I would say it is best to meet single black men on dating sites like MeetOutside.com, it helps to make an informed decision there as you can check out the professional details and the like and then interact.

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  35. I totally agree with this article...I am one of the REAL men that is described. And I have had the (until recently) the WORST time with women. I wont put up with a woman trying to run me. I am highly educated...and NEVER would date anything but a black woman. I am only attracted to black women. But man..do they ever pass me up for thugs. And I am considered VERY attractive. (not my words...their words) One girl I Dated told me it was HER JOB to show me she didnt need me!...so I said ok...bye! Another was ok but she started really getting disrespectful when I lost my job...like she felt that she was gonna start telling me what to do now. I am very independent and run my own business and the last straw was when she said are you going to get a job or keep on with your CRAZY IDEAS! I paused and looked at her and said CRAZY IDEAS? Well thats the end of that. Mind you EACH one of these ladies has openly said.."You are very different from most black men" (educated articulate, fit, independent,moral) but they think they are too strong for me. How about too ridiculous.

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  36. I have read your article and many of the post.. I find both very interesting. I am a strong black woman, that makes six figures with a degree. This article is just an opinion and should not be taken to heart. In short im break it down like this. Most Blackman have lack of respect for black women and expect to be taking care by us strong black women. I was great woman, cooked, supportive and much more. To find out that my boyfriend was a liar and a cheat. Who was only out for himself. Therefore the way in which strong black women react I do not blame them. In today's world most men are looking for a come up on behalf of a women. Im sure most women can relate.Most blackmen have low self-esteem and dont love themselves making them incapable of loving or caring for another. As a strong black woman we have to look out for selves, because when its said and done who will be their to pick us up.Thats keeping it real.

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    1. Dear anonymous....like so many Black women today you make the same exact excuses for the bad choices you made regarding the grown boys whom you allowed to play with your heart and toy with your emotions. It's not fair to generalize all Black men based on your poor perception of Black manhood, because over the past 50 years these males were molded and shaped by Black women who took a great deal of pride in raising them alone. The white man strategically placed you above your own sons who are now struggling very severely to find their male identity. "Divide Then Conquer" is what it's called. It's a very sad day when Black women today blame their failures on the males she foolishly chooses to breed with, and what she has been raising over the past 50 years. Today most Black men are nothing more than products of that very evil, man - made, man hating, male-bashing movement called FEMINISM. So you see....many Black women today are being victimized by their own deception of power and independence.

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  37. If you do the research black woman are the least physically attractive to men, including black men. And men chose mates/sexual partners with there eyes. Men are simple like that, in fact life is simple, we just perceive it as complicated by over thinking almost everything. Swallow your pride black women look at the research, accept it, get over it, and get on with it..

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  38. Being single all my life, all I can say is this is the greatest article I've ever read !! I'm a very handsome (by women not myself) and i've never been in a relationship. Black women are very arrogant and self-entilted for my taste. What I do to combat the feminist, is I let them know upfront I'ts my way or the highway if they want to be with me. I find educated black women too nasty to deal with. I'm a brotha that worships the ground they walk on. But don't treat me like garbage, then turn around and genuflect to the white european asian or latino man. I'm 45 with a good paying job no kids about to purchase my 1.st home and never been with a woman preferably black women ever in my life. Why you ask ? Their damn attitudes and trying to be white too damn badd great article bro !!

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  39. I did not want to stop reading this article. Except for some of the languages, I must tell you that, I will use it to apply what is needed to my life. I personally never thought that I was so qualified since I spent time giving love and it was never awarded back to me. Wow, as a black woman from the Island, I truly appreciate this. Thank you for decorating it with these beautiful colors so I could enjoy it so much. I will read it again. I really like it.

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  40. This is great article, I love it.
    I consider myself a good black men. I am 30yrs old, I have good education, a corporate job and $150k+ annual salary. I am polite, fit, right height and easy to communicate and strike conversations but I could not find a black woman.

    I remember the few black women I was interested in kept me waiting while chasing or at least flirting with other white guys, white guys who were never interested. All of them end up dating and sleeping with these white guys only to be dumbed! These are black women in their late 20s- early 30s with good education and corporate jobs.

    The other young black women 21-25yrs are kickin it with the "cool black men." Those flashy black men who can barely make a living but are loud and quick to show off. Until that good black girl come my way, I am going to stick with white girls; Please don't be mad, I tried!

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  41. Very Picky Nowadays.

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  42. Agen Sbobet Terpercaya - I am very interested in your article, your article is very interesting to read.

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  43. Great article!! You should really publish that on Facebook and other social media..

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  44. Good article bruh. The facts were stated and simply put. I continue to struggle to find my queen.

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